Thursday, September 23, 2010


My pregnant friends are stressing me out.

2.5 years after having Maddox, I've learned a lot that I wish I had known before he was born. And now I see and hear friends going about their births like OK DOC WHATEVER YOU SAY.. and I just want to grab them and shake them and tell them to wake up... BUT.. I can't. It's not my place to push it on them. Is it? Other than giving advice in the beginning, I don't think there is an easy way to say something like that. I can't be like YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE. :[

Friend's FB status: "We have redefined the term "mamas boy" when your doctor looks at you and says "I promise I won't let u go past 41 weeks" may not be a good sign...!"

To which I replied: "Why won't he let you go past 41 weeks?"

And she said: "It puts the baby at risk to go longer! Idk what the risks are but there are some! Maybe being too big??"


Next, one of my close friends went into early labor last night. I was texting them frantically at 4am because I'm SO excited. She went to the hospital & they sent her back home because she wasn't ready yet. A few minutes ago... around 2pm.. I get a text from him saying: "We're on our way to the hospital now. Since her labor is so slow, they are going to induce her today."

:[ Ugh. It just makes me sad.

EDIT: I think I overreacted a little bit about that text because I was cranky about the other girl's FB status. I actually just started crying because I'm so excited for them.


Ashley said...

Its hard to watch other people make uninfomrned/blind/fear based decisions when you know better. You'll eventually start to get over it. Just try to lead by example. Stay calm, be supportive and be there with a kind "I told you so" when they need it.

I didn't figure a lot of stuff out until I was pregnant again. I got lucky the first time getting the care that I did and having an out of hospital birth. Its more normal here (with my family, Oregon state has astronomical amounts of babies being born out of hospital, and friends). Then with Lucia it clicked. Why people do what they do and why a lot of people choose differentially a second time around.

If your interested in helping your friends in the future you can always help them find a doula or give them the gift of a private or natural childbirth class. Then someone can plant the seed and you can be the friend that pushed them in the right direction.

Congratulations to your friends and know I understand your frustration. ( I remember being frustrated that you allowed them to break your water:)

ginnysaurusrex said...

I know. lol. It's so frustrating because I was so trusting of my doctors & the hospital environment when I had Maddox. In hindsight, I just remember Bailey and I being terrified the entire time.. which is not how the birth experience should be. I feel like the doctors totally used that fear to their advantage so they could push me right through the baby factory that is Northside Hospital.
Ohhhhh hindsight is 20/20. :/
Thanks for the advice & I think I really need to work on not projecting my frustrations with my birth experience onto theirs.

Hails said...

I know that the day I finally get the baby bug (no time soon, but I know it'll happen) I will be looking to friends for advice because I already don't trust doctors (so many bad experiences) so if I was you, I'd be offering it up left and right.

So that being said, I may come asking for some advice in oh, maybe 5-8 years ;)

Jason said...

They gave us the option to go home and wait it out, or be induced. Since Shy had been in labor for so long already, and just wasn't progressing like she should, we chose to be induced. It was more impatience and not wanting her to be in pain anymore, than anything else. The midwife seemed to be leaning more toward waiting it out than anything else.

And your texts made the whole process that more awesome. Just sayin'. :)

ginnysaurusrex said...

I know! I really was so pissed at the other girl.. her entire pregnancy was so "I have no idea what I'm doing even though I did it once already, and I have no interest in learning about anything! I'll just do what I'm told.. derp derp derp"
Shy champed it. I'm so proud of yall. <3

Jason said...

We had people like her telling us bullshit all the time. You were the only person that ever gave us valid information.

It turned out that inducing was the best thing. Because Xekan was meconium born, there would have likely been complications if we'd waited any longer.